Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 1

Romans 7:18 (NLT) I know I am rotten through and through, so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn, I can't make myself do right. I want to, but I can't.

I want you to take a journey with me along a path of recovery. I am going to "borrow" liberally from the original Twelve Steps program that was designed in the 1930s by Bill Wilson for recovering alcoholics. I have tweaked the steps to help us become more Christ-like. I am not an expert on these steps, but the more I learn about them, the more I find they can apply to all of us, as a tool for helping us understand ourselves and manage our lives through God's help. The Twelve Steps is a spiritual program, and I pray that through this series, we can develop a closer relationship to our God Who is greater than us and is still in control. Come now; let's go on this journey and see where God takes us.

Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our sinful nature -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

Galatians 5:19-21a (NLT) When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results: sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin.

We are all born with this sinful nature. The sin of Adam is imputed to all his descendants; therefore we are all in need of recovery. Without God managing our lives, we cannot experience life to the fullest. Step One is a very difficult step, because it is both counterintuitive and countercultural. Certainly our American way is that we can do life how we want to do life. We don't need help from anyone, and certainly not from an unseen God. Maybe you are like me and play the part of the "Lone Ranger," falsely believing that you control everything around you.

But on our own, we are powerless over our sinful nature, and we need a catalyst to help us overcome this built-in desire to sin. That change agent, of course, is Christ. As Paul writes in the passage above, when we follow our sinful nature, our lives become unmanageable. Perhaps you are addicted to your work, and your home life has become unmanageable. The Christian way of living seeks a life like Christ -- a life that is balanced and submitted to God's will.

Romans 3:10,23 (NLT) As the Scriptures say, "No one is good-not even one." For all have sinned; all fall short of God's glorious standard.

The Bible is very clear that none of us can do life on our own, and we certainly cannot live an eternity with God, without admitting to ourselves and to God that we need a Savior. Have you at least taken that first step? If not, I will be glad to help you. Apart from Christ our Savior, these 12 Steps are not powerful from a Christian perspective. We Christians need the power of God living inside of us, in order to overcome our sinful nature. When we accept Christ as our Savior, He takes residence in us through the Holy Sprit, to help us live manageable lives.

Prayer

Father, help us to admit our shortcomings. Get us out of this unmanageable life journey that we are on and onto the path of recovery from our sinful nature and our out-of-control living. Help us to do life right. In Christ's name, Amen.

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 2

2 Corinthians 12:8-9 (NLT) Three different times, I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time he said, My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me.

Step 2: We come to believe that God, a Power greater than ourselves, can restore us to sanity.

In Step 1, we admit that we are powerless over our sinful natures and that our lives are unmanageable. Step 2 introduces us to the Power than can restore our broken and sinful lives to sanity. Sanity is defined by The American Heritage Dictionary as The quality or condition of being sane; soundness of mind. Soundness of judgment or reason. In other words a sane person makes good decisions. As Christians, we want to make decisions that honor God. A sane person does not hang around temptations that he cannot control. A sane person does not rationalize away all of his shortcomings.  A sane person comes to believe in God and His Power.

If we don't have the Power that is greater than ourselves, how do we receive it? What is it? Who is it? Paul cries out in the following passage, asking this Power to save him from his unsound judgment or his insanity.

Romans 7:24-25 (NLT) Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin?  Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind, I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature, I am a slave to sin.

Paul was struggling with his self-centered, sinful nature. He was miserable. For all of us that are frustrated and weary, we cry out I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! I believe this is what Paul is finally saying in his surrendering attitude toward God. We receive his power by accepting His son Christ as our Savior. It is a free gift for the asking.

Revelation 3:20 (NLT) Look! Here I stand at the door and knock. If you hear me calling and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal as friends.

The path of restoration and recovery is not an easy path. The road has dips, bumps, plateaus and high points, and it never ends. Paul finds the answer, just as we can, in Jesus. We have to come to believe that Christ can restore us. This restoration is a process that makes us right with God. Restoration is the process of making something old new.  This rightness with God gives us the power, through his Holy Spirit, to be sane and have good judgment.

Romans 8:1-4 (NLT) So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.  For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you, through Christ Jesus, from the power of sin that leads to death.  The law of Moses could not save us, because of our sinful nature. But God put into effect a different plan to save us. He sent his own Son in a human body like ours, except that ours are sinful. God destroyed sin's control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.  He did this so that the requirement of the law would be fully accomplished for us who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit.

Are you ready to take the second step? Are you ready to surrender to God by believing that you are not the center of the universe, you are not all-powerful, you are not all-knowing, you are not the answer, you are not the restoring power and you are not in control of your restoration and sanity? We are not capable of making sound judgments apart from the God that created us.

Prayer

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 3 - Decision Time!

Step 3: We make a decision to turn our lives over to the care and will of God.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT) Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.”

Eugene Peterson beautifully paraphrases this passage in The Message: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned-out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

In Step One, we admitted that we are powerless over our sinful nature. In Step 2, we came to believe that God, through his Son Jesus, could restore us to sane living. It is one thing to believe Steps 1 and 2 are true, but quite another to actually implement this Biblical plan. Step 3 brings us to that implementation, to a decision time. Are we truly going to turn our lives and wills over to the care of God? Steps 1 and 2 are the basis for our decision. The Bible must have authority, in order for us to have this basis. The steps are not the foundation for our decision in Step 3, but rather tools to give us the realization that we must make a decision.

Let me illustrate with this story. There was a large pasture filled with people. The pasture had a wooden fence running down the middle. Jesus and the Evil One were watching the people milling around. Jesus calls out to the people: “All of you that want to follow me, go to the right side of the fence.” After a while, Jesus and His followers walked away. One person was left standing on top of the fence. The Evil One said to him, “come with me now.” The man replied, “but I am on the fence.” The Evil One answered, “I own the fence; come now.”

Proverbs 16:3 (NLT) Commit your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed.

If you are on the fence, it is time to make a choice. It is time to acquire the Power that is greater than us. It is time to receive the One Who can turn our broken, weary, insane and unmanageable lives into the lives that He has planned for us.

1 John 4:15-16 (NLT) All who proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God.  We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in him.

Are you ready to take Step 3? Are you ready for Christ to be the basis for your decision? Are you ready to truly turn all parts of your life and will over to His care? Are you ready to start really living?  If you have made a commitment to change your life and turn it over to God, can people around you see the change? For some of us, it is time to move the head knowledge to our heart and then on to our feet. It is time to make your changed life obvious to those around you. I asked a horse trainer friend of mine recently about another trainer. In his dry wit, he replied, "well, if horse training were a crime, it would be a crime to hang him." In other words, there was no evidence of him being a true horse trainer. Is there evidence in your life that you have made the decision to grow? If you accepted Christ before, maybe it is time to recommit your life and will to Him.

Romans 10:9 (NLT) For if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Come on and get off the fence. This simple prayer will take you to the right side of the pasture.

Prayer

Jesus, I am a sinner in need of a Savior and a manager of my life, will and eternity. I believe in You. I believe that You died and rose again so that I may live. Come into my heart today and take control of my life. By your authority I pray, Amen. 

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 4

Step 4 - We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Steps One through Three are preparatory steps for Step Four. Here is a brief summary of the first three steps. Step One: We recognized that we are powerless over our sinful nature and that our lives have become unmanageable on our own. In Step Two, we came to believe that the God who created us could restore us to sane living. Step Three: We simply made a decision to turn our lives and will over to the care of God.

For me, and I would think most Christians, we go through life doing the Steps One, Two, Three; One, Two, Three and on we waltz, dancing through life to our own tune never making it to the fourth step. We realize there is a problem, cry out to God for help and then think we make a decision to turn our lives and will over to God. As time passes and the problem subsides, we fall back into our self-centered ways. No need for God right now, everything is going great! Or we do the famous cafeteria-style of Step Three: Here, God, you can have this, that and a helping of this, but you can't touch these parts of my life.

Step Three can be a spiritual plateau on which we become stuck. We settle in on this comfort zone. Like water in a puddle, we become stale, stagnant and stoic Christians -- or worse, we slip off the plateau to where we once were. Plateaus can be and really should be wonderful events in our lives. They are places to rest, catch our breath and contemplate the future, but they are not a place to stop forever.

Step Four begins the process of implementing our decision to turn our lives and will over to God. This is a lifelong process. We will grow, plateau, then grow some more, all in God's time and His will.

Step Four can be a scary process for most of us. The Psalmist's prayer above is a frightening prayer. I urge you to pray this prayer when doing Step Four. This does not need to be a scary step; rather, it can be an exciting step to help us out of our bondage of rationalization and delusional, sinful living. This step simply identifies the faults that have separated us from God.

1 John 1:8-10 If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

The above Bible passage is one of my favorites. It takes us out of a delusional state of mind. I define delusional here as "making our own reality". It is not real that none of us are without faults. It is not real that we are perfect. It is, however, real that we can become developing followers of Christ. We can live a life that moves along a path of growth -- not of perfection but rather progression.

At this point in the 12 Step process, an accountability partner, mentor or as they say in A.A. a sponsor, is an invaluable tool. A mentor is someone that has walked the path before you. He has seen the highs and the lows, reached the plateaus and moved on. He understands the process, and in turn will help you.

Obviously I love to write. I write most of my prayers to God. Step Four should be a written inventory of what is keeping you from becoming more like Christ. We simply write the nature of our character defects. Do not rush this step. Take all the time you need.

While there is not a right or wrong way to being this process, here is an outline that will help you begin. This list is not original. It comes from talking to people I know that are in 12 Step Recovery programs such as Alcoholic Anonymous.

Begin by writing down your resentments. Resentment is defined as "indignation or ill will felt as a result of a real or imagined grievance." A synonym is anger. What or who are you resentful toward? What causes this anger? What effect is it having on your life and your relationship to God? What was your role in causing this behavior?

Fears. What are you fearful of? What causes this fear? What effect is this having on your life and your relationship to God?

Sexuality Instincts. This includes how you relate to people of the opposite sex. Not just sexual encounters. What is your behavior and attitude about this? How does it affect your life and relationship with God?

Financial security. What are your behaviors and attitudes toward money and the management of your finances? What is causing these attitudes? What are the effects on your life and your relationship with God?

Emotional security. Again, what behavior and attitudes are causing you emotional problems? Emotional insecurity can lead to depression, fear, worry, self-pity and anger.

What relationships are causing me emotional insecurity?

Social instincts. Do you have any social connections that cause you pain? Do you behave in an irrational way, to make yourself out to be someone that you are not, due to your social insecurity?

I am sure there are more items to list. In short, what behavior and attitudes are causing you separation from God? In short, what behavior and attitudes are causing you separation from God? What are you doing that is harmful to others? What are you doing that is harmful to yourself?

At the end of this inventory, please write the positive characteristics of yourself. There is good in everyone. Don't use this list to beat yourself up. Rather, use it as a benchmark, a starting point from which to grow. Your best effort to do a complete and honest inventory shows your willingness to truly turn your life and will over to God.

Prayer

Lord, search our hearts, our behaviors and attitudes. Reveal to us what is displeasing to you. Lord, and also help us to see the good that you have put in us. Help us to build on what is good and rid our lives of what is bad. In Christ's name. Amen.

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 5 - Confession Time!

Prayer

Lord, give us Your strength, Your courage and Your wisdom to confess our sins not only to You and ourselves, but to another person as well. Thank You for being a God that forgives, no matter how bad we think we are. You love us in spite of ourselves. We long to be right with You and those around us. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 6 - Contemplation

Step 6: We are entirely ready to have GOD remove all these defects of character.

Isaiah 1:19 (NLT) If you will only obey me and let me help you, then you will have plenty to eat.

2 Timothy 2:15 (NLT) Work hard so God can approve you. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.

In Step 4, we made a fearless, searching inventory of ourselves. In Step 5, we had a confession time to another person and to God. Step 6 sounds very simple, but it is actually very difficult and important. It is time to get our hearts ready to allow God to work more in our lives. Step Six is a contemplative step.  It asks us to look back to see if we've been holding on to some secret or reservation, but mostly it is a step that takes a good, hard look at our faith.

We have come to the point where we will see if we are absolutely and totally willing to have God remove our past sinful ways. Do we have enough faith in God to let Him soften our hearts? Are we willing to accept His mercies, grace, love and peace? Do we really trust Him with our entire lives?

Just as when we were doing our personal inventory in Step 4, we need to avoid the trap of being willing to give only certain parts of our lives over to God. We cannot make our lives into cafeteria lines, telling God, "Well you may have only two vegetables and one meat -- and absolutely no desserts!"

Step 6 asks the question, "Do we have enough faith, unreserved faith, to trust that the Lord will fill, with His goodness and love, the void left when we are willing to set aside our sinful natures?" If I'm going to give up lustful thoughts, because steps 4 and 5 have allowed me to get honest about how lustful thoughts separate me from God and those around me, then step 6 asks me if I honestly have the faith to give those lustful thoughts to God, while believing that the Lord's goodness and grace will fill whatever panicked spiritual hole the lustful thoughts were soothing.  Am I willing to let go of MY way of taking care of my selfish needs, and to step aside and have God take care of my needs, as well as determine what those needs are?

This seemingly simple step is a direct question of our faith in God to handle our lives. It is best described in the following verse:

1 John 5:4-5 (NLT) For every child of God defeats this evil world by trusting Christ to give the victory.  And the ones who win this battle against the world are the ones who believe that Jesus is the Son of God.

Everyday I hear God asking me, "David, do you really trust me? Do you really have faith in me?"

Do you?

Prayer

Lord, led each of us into a contemplative spirit so that we can, with your help, get ready to have total trust and faith in You. Make us ready. In Christ's name, Amen.

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 7

Step 7 - We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

James 4:10 (KJV) Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

James 4:10 (NLT) When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.

Just what does it mean to be humble? Humility is defined as "marked by meekness or modesty in behavior, attitude, or spirit; not arrogant or prideful. Showing deferential or submissive respect." Being humble is the opposite of being self-centered. It's time for us to stop playing God and let God do His work in our lives. It is time to humbly submit our entire beings to Him.

The key to Step 7 is having the humility and faith to turn ALL of ourselves over to God, to ask Him to remove ALL of our shortcomings. I tend to want to say to God, "Okay you take care of these big sins and shortcomings, and I will take the little ones." Or something like, "Okay God, thanks for getting me out of that jam; now I will take it from here." Some of us say, "God can have me on Sunday morning, but come Monday, all bets are off!" Maybe you have decided to be a dedicated husband, but your actions at work are off-limits to God. The question we need to ask of ourselves: Is God the Lord of our entire life or just part?

Jeremiah 18:6b (NLT) As the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand.

In Step 6, we talked about having real faith. Do we have the faith to trust God entirely? Step 7 is the practical application of that faith. Sure, we might buy what the Lord Jesus Christ offers us through his sacrifice, the forgiveness of sin and everlasting life -- but are we willing to make practical, concrete applications of that faith in regard to individual aspects of our sinful nature? Step 7 is a leap of faith and an acknowledgment that we want and welcome God's design for who and what He wants us to be. We entrust ALL of ourselves into God care, so that He can mold, shape and influence us - so that we may better do His will and work. He is the potter; we are the clay. He is Lord of all.

In order for God to remove defects from our lives, we have to give our lives to Him AND turn away from the shortcoming. Repentance is simply "turning away." It is going in one direction and then taking a 180-degree turn in the other direction. Having the faith and the humility to submit our lives to God is not enough. God will do His part, but we still need to do our part. If we truly want change, we have to make changes in our lives. We can't ask God to keep us from being lustful, but then keep hanging out at the "gentleman's club." God can guide us and direct us, but He loves us so much that he still allows us to have the free will to do as we please.

Okay, I hear some of you out there, "but David I can't go to God with this. You don't know how bad I have been!" As we say here in the South, "You ain't telling me nothing I don't know." God knows everything about you. But just as a loving parent wants his child to ask for help and forgiveness in times of need, so does God. God is not too busy, not too big, not too powerful and certainly not too burdened to help you. Just ask.

The writer of Hebrews sums up Step 7 in this way:

Hebrews 4:14-16 (NLT) That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it.

Step 7 is simply transferring the control of our lives over to God. It is putting ourselves in God's hand as unformed clay, asking Him to shape us and mold us into the person that He intended for us to become. It is letting God decide which defects are standing in our way of being not only who He wants us to be, but also what keeps us from being close to Him and those around us. Ready to stop trying to play God? Ready to stop banging your head against the wall while trying to fix yourself? Join me in a prayer that I have adapted from AA's "Big Book." This prayer is our first move toward the freedom of turning our lives completely over to God.

Prayer

All-powerful God, I am now willing for you to have ALL of me, both good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and those around me. Give me your strength to turn away from the faults that I have and turn toward You. You are the potter and I am the clay. Hold me, mold me and recreate me into what You want, In your Son's name I pray, Amen.

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 8

Step 8 - Make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends to them all.

Matthew 4:3-5 (NLT) And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,' when you can't see past the log in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye.

In Step 7, we looked inward at ourselves and asked God to humbly remove our shortcomings. In Step 8, we are going to look outward at those we have harmed and become willing to make amends. Again this is a step of preparation. We become willing to love others as ourselves.

Step Eight is a preparatory step, much like Step 4. We need to be able to take a close, hard and honest look at our actions and ourselves. This needs to be done without the great denial part of us telling ourselves that we are perfect and everyone else is at fault. We need to avoid self-justification of our actions. We need to stop saying "Lord, why is everyone against me? Why can't people see things my way? Why can't people be like me?" Instead, we need to say "Lord, help me see how my sinful nature has harmed others, and Lord, make me willing and humble enough to make amends to them all."

This is a step that looks at our personal relationships with others and how those damaged relationships prevent us from having a closer relationship with God. Our God is a God that loves relationships. He loves relationships with us and us have good solid relationship with others. Broken relationships usually harbor pain, guilt, resentment and other relationship blocking emotions inside us. These emotions as pains must be cleaned out of our dark moldy basements of our past.

So, how do I start with Step 8? Just as with Step 4, a written list of all those people you have harmed is the best way to start. Ask yourself: Who have I harmed? How did I harm them? What was the result of my action toward them? Do you see a pattern of behavior that is damaging to those around you? Make your list and pray, Lord, make me willing to be forgiving of myself, my actions and able to attempt to make amends.

Mark 11:22 (NLT) But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.

1 Peter 4:8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.

For me, I do not believe Step Eight can be done without a mentor, sponsor or trusted Christian friend looking over your list, to give you an unbiased opinion of it. This is essential before moving on to Step 9. In addition, we must be very healthy spiritually to do Step 8. These 12 Steps are a lifelong process. Step 8 comes down the road of maturity gained from Steps 1-7. There is absolutely no need to rush through this process. Walk slowly, tread lightly, honoring God along the way. Then He, in turn, will honor your actions.

Hebrews 12:14 (NIV) Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.

Point to Ponder: "Sin always blocks our vision of God, so if we want to see God, we must remove it from our lives. Holiness is coupled with peace” staying out of quarrels. A right relationship with God leads to right relationships with fellow believers. Although we will not always feel love toward all believers, we must pursue peace as we become more Christ-like. Pursue peace by making things right with someone you've wronged." (Life Application Bible)


Prayer

Lord, may we be instruments of peace, within our families, our church, our community, our nation, and our world, until true peace comes with the coming of Your Son. Lord create in us a spirit that makes us willing to make amends to others that we have harmed. In His name, amen.

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 9

Step 9 - Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Matthew 5:23-24 (The Message) This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God.

In Step Eight, we made a list of all the people we have harmed and asked God to make us willing to make amends with them. Step Eight prepares us for Step Nine. I want to remind all of you, at this point, that these steps cannot be taken out of order. Each step builds upon the previous one. Just reading Step Nine terrifies me to the point of saying, "well, I am finished with these steps." Hang in here with me, and remember we are on a journey. It's a long trip, not a short jaunt to the corner store.

The above passage is the only one that I can find where God tell us to leave worship before giving our offering. Making amends with others must be very important to God. I believe the passage is implying that if we have problems with others, then we will have problems with our relationship with God. If I am full of guilt from my past, or bundled up in a cocoon of anger against someone, then I have walls between God and myself.

Step Nine must be taken with the utmost care, wisdom, prudence and prayerful guidance of timing and words. It is a must, at this point, to have a trusted friend, a seasoned Christian -- and even better -- a person that has been through Step Nine himself or herself. This accountability partner or sponsor will hopefully prevent you from making some critical mistakes, and will help you make these direct amends in the most appropriate way, which will injure neither the person you are seeking to make amends with nor others.

Don't expect the other person to accept your offer of making the amends. Some will accept your offer and embrace you with compassion and forgiveness; others will reject you and send you away. Be prepared to accept both forgiveness and rejection. Take them both with humility. Give them both to God.

If the person does forgive you, handle with care! Forgiveness, for some of us, is just as hard to accept as rejection.

You will also be very wise to avoid an "holier-than-thou" attitude toward others. All God asks us to do is to attempt to be reconciled with others. Then we must let go and turn the situation over to God.

The most obvious people on your list are family members. Go to them first, and ask their forgiveness for the wrongs you have committed against them. Tell them you are working on your life by turning your will over to God. The key is to go slowly. Do not overwhelm others; just let them know you are working on yourself.

We never want to attempt to make amends when it will harm or injure another person. Sexual sins are the most frequent sin in which amends cannot practically be made. You may feel guilty about having an affair with another man's wife, but it would most likely destroy their marriage if you went to his wife or him, asking for forgiveness. Old flames are probably not to be tracked down, even if there's no harm to be done to the other person.  With the impulse to make amends to old flames, it is imperative to check one's motive. Never make amends at someone else's expense. Never.

What about people that we can no longer be in contact with? Perhaps the person has died or moved away. I have written many letters that wound up in my paper shredder. But the process of writing the letter had a great healing effect. Writing out your confession and asking forgiveness brings you from the point of denial about your problem, to the realization that you were the problem or at least a part of the problem.

Make amends with yourself. Honestly try to forgive yourself for the harm you have caused to yourself. Often our sin disease harms us more than others. Be willing to forgive yourself, to accept your forgiveness and to accept the forgiveness that God will give you.

Is Step Nine easy? No way. I will emphasize, once again, the importance of handling Step Nine with the utmost prudence.

John 3:11 (NLT) This is the message we have heard from the beginning: We should love one another.


Prayer

Father, protect us from ourselves, and give us your strength, courage and wisdom to make amends with those we have harmed. Help us to avoid lying to ourselves, and help us to be completely honest in our assessment of our past. Father, forgive us for our sins, and surround our hearts with your love and power. In Christ's name, Amen.

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 10

Step 10 - Continue to take personal inventory, and when we are wrong, promptly admit it.

Mark 14:38 (NLT) Keep alert and pray. Otherwise temptation will overpower you. For though the spirit is willing enough, the body is weak.

Luke 9:23 (NLT) Then he said to the crowd, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross daily, and follow me.

Steps 1-9 are major repairs. Steps 10-12 are maintenance steps. The first nine steps are akin to serious surgery on our lives. Step 10 is daily maintenance of our lives.

On the surface, Step Ten appears to be an easy step that can be skimmed over. But it’s not! Taking a daily inventory of our lives is crucial to our recovery from our sinful nature. Step Ten is difficult to implement, due to the fast-paced, hectic lifestyles most of us live. It is easy, in the "heat of the battle," to toss aside the foundation and the truths that Christ has laid down for us to live by.

Living our new lives in Christ is a moment-by-moment goal. In every situation we encounter, ideally we would stop and think, "How can I best react to this situation as Christ would?" For example, say that your co-worker, classmate or friend has told another person an untrue story about you. When you find out, your mind and heart should shift toward the first three steps. Think: First, I am powerless over what this person has done. Secondly, if I react in MY way, then I will display my insanity. And thirdly, I should turn the situation over to God and let Him guide my reaction.

Step Ten helps us maintain balance in our lives. It keeps us dependent on God and not ourselves. We recognize that God alone is in control, and we are simply trying our best to follow His will in every situation that we encounter. Before the major surgery of Steps 1-9, we may have turned to drugs, rage or other completely unacceptable behavior that harmed ourselves and those around us. Step 10 is a Stop Sign advising us to "Stop and think!"

We definitely learn from our mistakes. Sometimes at the end of the day, we may need to hit the rewind button and carefully analyze a situation that occurred during the day - and how we handled that situation. When someone angered us, how did we respond? Were we wrong? Were we right? Did we follow God’s will? Did we stop and realize that God is in control? Did we turn the situation over to God, or did we try to be in control of the event?

As always, this does not mean beating ourselves up daily. Think of the positive reactions you had as well. Ask yourself: What did I do right today? How have I grown today? Am I a little more like Christ at the end of today, than I was at the beginning?


Prayer

Father, help us in our hectic pace to stop, think and pray for your will to be done. Help us to remember the Steps you have led us through so far, and help us to apply our "new lives" to new situations. In Christ’s name, Amen

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 11

Step 11 - Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as revealed in the Bible, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

James 4:8a (NLT) Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you.

Step Eleven is an “action” step. It is asking us to do two disciplines, to pray and to meditate. Now when I first read this step, I was really concerned about praying only for the knowledge of His will. But as I meditated (no pun intended) on this step, it began to come alive for me.

One of the main goals of the Twelve Steps is to move us away from playing God - and instead allowing God to be God in our lives. We do this by becoming aware of walls between us and God in Steps 1-9; now in Step 11, we are going to draw closer to God through prayer and meditation.

For the past three years, I have helped out a man who has been mostly homeless and without a job. I prayed and prayed for “Kenny.” God get him a job, God do this, God do that. Now here is the radical truth for me, which I finally realized: When God did not answer my prayers about Kenny as I wanted Him to, I then “played God.” I took matters into my own hands. He would come by the office needing money, and I would give it to him. But about six months ago, I decided that perhaps it was not my place to just keep giving Kenny money. His promises to me of a job never panned out. So, I simply said, "ok God, you take him." Just two days ago, Kenny called me to tell me that he finally got a job! Well, I was hampering God’s will by “playing God.” As long as I gave Kenny money, he did not need to look very hard for a job. In the term I hear often from members of Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.), I was "enabling" Kenny to not work. Once I got out of God’s way, He could work.

I believe that often times when prayers are not answered to our liking or in our time frame, we tend to answer them ourselves. This step, in telling us to pray only for the knowledge of God’s will, removes me out of the danger zone of wanting to push God aside. It puts me in the role that I need to live out -- the role of God’s child, rather than God Himself.

Is it okay to pray for people and other matters? Of course it is okay! Jesus prayed, in the verse below, for the suffering of the cross to be removed from Him. BUT notice He states, "YOUR will, not mine."

Luke 22:42 (NLT)  Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will, not mine.

Below are four reasons to pray:

The first and most obvious reason to pray is God's command that we do so. Prayer is an act of obedience, on our part, toward God.

Matthew 26:41 (NIV) Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

Matthew 6:6 (NIV) But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Notice Jesus did not say "if you pray" or "when you feel like praying." He said "when you pray;" He expects us to pray.

Secondly, God knows everything, yet His general will allows for flexibility in our involvement in carrying out His work. For example, while He may have chosen me to play a role in leading someone to Christ, He allows me to make the choice of accepting or turning down the opportunity. If I choose not to, then I lose the blessing of being a part of God's plan, but this person will still be saved. Someone else will be part of the process, in my place. God wants us to be participants in His plans, not just observers.

Ephesians 1:3-5 (LB) How we praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every blessing in heaven because we belong to Christ.

Long ago, even before He made the world, God chose us to be His very own, through what Christ would do for us. He decided then, to make us holy in His eyes, without a single fault-we who stand before Him covered with His love. His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into His own family, by sending Jesus Christ to die for us. And He did this because He wanted to! Even before the beginning of time, God started dealing with us. What an awesome fact to grasp! He has a plan for His children, and we can be a part of it via our prayers.

Thirdly, prayer is an act of submission, on our part, to God. We are not submissive by nature. Many men that I speak with have trouble getting down on their knees and praying to God, because they don't feel in control, or somehow believe it is unmanly. But submission to God is a key to the Christian life and fulfilling His perfect plans for us.

Finally, prayer is about our communion and fellowship with God. Through prayer, we grow closer to Him and become more concerned about seeking His will, than about receiving our answers.

1 John 1:3-4 (NIV) We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ. We write this to make our joy complete.

Acts 2:42 (NIV) They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

The second part of Step 11 is to meditate. Praying is us talking to God, while meditation is us trying to listen to God. We simply ask God for His will; then we are to be quiet, to be still and to listen. This is a very tough discipline that takes a great amount of time, to fully conquer the distractions in our lives, in order to be still.

I recommend reading a passage in the Bible or a short devotional, and then praying to God for the meaning of this for your life and how it is in His will. There are real misunderstandings regarding meditation.  We too often think we must produce something during meditation, which is not necessarily so.  Meditation is the time we take -- blank time -- to rest our heads and hearts in quietness, so that during the rest of the day, we are more efficient and effective in hearing the Lord and doing His will.  God does not have to "speak" to us during meditation in order for meditation to be effective. Rest.  That's the key.

Now, don’t beat yourself up, and don’t go and try to pray and meditate for an hour, the first time. Start by trying just five minutes; then work up to more time. I find that writing my prayers out keeps me from being distracted. I also have found that having a quiet place, and praying at the same time each day, keep me in touch with God. Whatever works for you, then do it.


Prayer

Father, help us in our prayers to You, not only to talk to You, but to listen to Your will for us. Give us the strength and courage not to do Your part, but rather help us to understand our roles in life. Your will be done. In Christ’s name, Amen.

Twelve Steps for Christian Living Part 12

Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and practice these principles in all our affairs.

1 Timothy 1:12-14 (NLT) How thankful I am to Christ Jesus our Lord, for considering me trustworthy and appointing me to serve him, even though I used to scoff at the name of Christ. I hunted down his people, harming them in every way I could. But God had mercy on me, because I did it in ignorance and unbelief.  Oh, how kind and gracious the Lord was! He filled me completely with faith and the love of Christ Jesus.

This is a true saying, and everyone should believe it: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners and I was the worst of them all.  But that is why God had mercy on me, so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.

Matthew 28:19-20 (NLT) Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Step Twelve is a three-part step. First, we have a Spiritual Awakening. I like to think of this as being ambushed by the Holy Spirit. We were once asleep in our sins, and now through the power of God, we have been awakened. In the Timothy passage above, Paul is telling Timothy how the love of God overcame him and awakened him to the love of Christ. This awakening made him a new person.

Through the power of the Holy Spirit and His work in our lives, we become alive. While the world around us does not change, our reaction to the world does change. There are still frustrating events, people and the like. We usually have the same quirks and fears. But we handle all matters differently. We are more at peace with ourselves, others and God. We go from feeling helpless, fearful and powerless - to a sense of great peace. Yes, at times, we will still have our fears and feelings of hopelessness, but now we have the Holy Spirit in us, guiding us along the path of life. These steps are a part of keeping us on track on that path, to stay focused on God. We have changed directions, from being self-centered to being Christ-centered.

The second part of Step Twelve is to carry this message to others, which is exactly what Jesus is saying in the Great Commission. The message is our Spiritual Awakening. The operative word here is Go. Out of our gratitude to Christ for his love for and mercy to us, we should want to help others. We should want to give them the good news. We are not to ignore others that are struggling in life as we are. We are to share with them the good news of our Spiritual Awakening and the effects it is having on our lives. I hope my life attracts people to me. I would rather be one to attract others, than to promote my awakening. The greatest question someone can ask me is, what is it about you that is different? I want what you have.

To carry the message to others is not something we do to say we are better than others, or that we have all the answers to life and are going to show them how to live. In fact, we gain from being around others that are going through what we have been through in life. Going out benefits us as much as those to whom we take the message.

Third, we are to practice the principles that we have learned in these twelve steps, in all our affairs.  We will not stay well if we do not stay on this wellness program. We cannot appropriate the grace of God to just one area of our life and hope the other areas stay intact. The life lessons that we are learning and practicing should permeate all areas of our lives, our homes, work and play. A natural habit of living rightly should flow from us.

So, that's it - Twelve Steps for Christian Living. Simple, no! Practical, yes! Can you do it? Of course you can. Is it easy? No way. Nowhere in the Bible do I find a passage, or even one verse, saying ?okay, now that you are a Christian, life is going to be a breeze. Life is hard. Life seems impossible to those without hope. Our hope is Christ. Our hope is the life after this life. Our hope is doing life right here on Earth. Our hope is in the knowledge of, and faith in, Christ.

My hope and prayer is that this survey of the Twelve Steps has been a blessing for you. Writing about and studying these steps has blessed me beyond what I thought was possible.


Prayer

Father, continue helping us to gain knowledge of your will for our lives. Help us to apply these Biblical principles to our lives, so we may bring honor to You. In Christ's name we pray. Amen.